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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new restaraunt on the moon? It's got great food, just no atmosphere.."

"Maybe your jeans are distressed because you're wearing them?"

"Putting a carrot next to you in bed can almost fill the space where Megan used to slep"

"What was Cher doing before she was born? She was a preacher."

"What signal tells you that a politician is lying? The lips are moving"

"Why did the magnet go to the psychiatrist? He was bipolar."

"If I go into a stall and see a solitary, intact lima bean in the bowl, I pick a new stall. I don't want what you're selling, lima bean bowl!"

"Bathrooms are international You're Russian to it, European while you're in there, and then ya Finnish."

"Double whammy. First date is turning out to be fun & I also go to meet my hero Chris Hansen from Catch a Predator."

"Every Taylor Swift song sounds like it was written in gel pen."