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Joke of the Day

"Anyone know how to fix a guardian angel, I think mine is broken."

"My last relationship was so bad, it featured Pitbull."

"My daughter just entered singing ""Love you like a love song"". So, your love has a 3 1/2 minute expiration date? Well, I guess that's honest."

"[on the phone with wife] Honey, who do you like better, Hulk Hogan or Jafar from Aladdin? ""Tell me why."" [winks at tattoo artist] No reason."

"There is guy who knows most of secrets of the World That guy name is Mister-Lee [Mystery]"

"If some last names were an ancestor's profession (Baker, Cobbler) How do you explain Dickinson?"

"I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me... She calls me her sixty second lover...."

"A great tribute from the Brazil team to Neymar. He couldn't play so the rest of the players decided not to either."

"Why did the unicycle win the race? Because the bicycle was two tired."

"Fun game: Take pictures with your camera sound turned up when someone comes into the bathroom stall next to yours."