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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the hippie reach his tie dyed T-shirt? Because it was Far Out!"

"I have Facebook like reflexes. ""Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?"" *throws a book and hits you right in the face*"

"My friend recently started a career as a hitman... I hear he's making a killing."

"Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? She uses the other hand to moan."

"{Text} Me: Come home soon baby, I'm dressed like Leia.. Him: So turned on, I am.. Me: If you show up dressed like Yoda it's not happening"

"One good thing has come from the Ebola virus The white nations might have a chance of winning a marathon next Olympics."

"HOBBIES INCLUDE: - Whispering dark secrets to animals - Trying to get a strawberry seed out of my teeth - Being vegan, but also eating steak"

"A Jamaican is sightseeing in Egypt. A vehicle drives by, beeping its horn. ""Coo yah!"" he says. ""It's tootin' car, mon!"""

"Why was the fisherman wealthy and prosperous? Because he was a master-baiter."

"Did you hear the dress at the center of the color debate is actually a type of ""sex dress?"" It's just a fucking dress."