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Joke of the Day

"When toddlers get naked and run around giggling, it's ""cute"" and ""funny"" ...but when I do it, I'm ""drunk"" and ""not allowed back in Target"""

"Why did the Japanese guy get mad and kick the mushroom? He was sick of all its shiitake."

"""Voop voop voop voop voop voop voop voop voop."" -corduroys"

"Texas. Where the vegan menu item is chicken."

"I went to an adrenaline junkie camping retreat. It was in tents."

"Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile? A: Both are offensive and inaccurate."

"Why did Elton John's trucking company only work weekends? Because Saturday nights alright for freighting."

"Thousands of people are attacked by sea creatures every year. We at BP are dedicated to bringing that number down. You're welcome!"

"I like my apples how I like my penis... In cider."

"Bees aren't disappearing. Trump has been secretly deporting them because he thinks pollination is a hoax created by the Chinese."