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Joke of the Day

"How many irish men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, One to hold the light and, one to drink until the room starts spinning!"

"What does Fabrizio like to put on his sandwiches? Mustardo!"

"Professor: I forgot to take my umbrella this morning. Wife: When did you first miss it dear? Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped."

"As a muslim, I'm sick of the 9/11 jokes because my parentd died too. They just weren't in the buildings."

"Yea autocorrect....I wanna luck your puddy and flick you in the asks. Perfect"

"Sar-Chasm (noun) When you're joking, but everyone thinks you're being serious, you've fallen into the sar-chasm."

"One good turn gets most of the blankets."

"I wish my car ran on shattered dreams instead of gas. I'd be able to make it to Canada on my failed ninja goals alone."

"Owls would be so much cooler if they could also say 'are you'"

"Whats the difference between Donald Trump and a Vacuum? Nothing. Both are really loud, and full of shit."