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Joke of the Day

"I was rescued after being exposed to the elements... I couldn't feel my fingers or toes, so I got the doctor to tell it to me straight. His reply: ""Once they go black, they never grow back."""

Next Joke
 
"Today, I'm happy to say I am 12 years sober! Unfortunately it was only the first 12 years of my life and I've been drunk ever since."
"Father O'Flannagan and the Taxi Driver"
"I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger... ... Then it hit me!"
"Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, ""I'll have some H2O."" The second one says, ""I'll have some H2O too."" The second one dies."
"I signed a petition to end women's suffering yesterday. Oops. Sorry: autocorrect. *suffrage."
"How many Jews can you fit in a car? (OFFENSIVE) Two in the front, 3 in the back, six million in the ash tray."
"not one character on the show Friends had a job that was a joke, was broke, or had a love life that was DOA."
"What do you call a depressed cow? A mooooope"
"Not that I hate you.. But I'll unplug your life support to charge my phone"