84529

Joke of the Day

"I signed a petition to end women's suffering yesterday. Oops. Sorry: autocorrect. *suffrage."

"Amber Alert, but for the TV remote"

"What's the difference between the US election and sex? During sex it's fun to choose between asshole and cunt."

"I went to a party dressed as a loaf of bread. The birds were all over me."

"My doctor said my cervix is perfect. I'm still blushing."

"I do less before 9AM than most people don't do all day."

"According to the stores .I should be in a Halloween costume, sitting under a Christmas tree eating turkey . I'm so confused."

"Why do blacks make good athletes? They spent the first nine months of their lives dodging hangers."

"""Needless to say... ..."""

"What's a pirates favorite letter? Ayyyy, tis true he loves R, but his true love is the C!"