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Joke of the Day

"Year 2142: Meat eaters have died out. Vegans survive. 2143: Everyone is dead b/c the vegans couldn't tell anyone else that they were vegan."

"This kitty has really overstayed its welcome. All hello and no goodbye."

"I think twitter is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks."

"I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn't even know I was driving."

"What side of the chicken has the most feathers? The Outside!"

"Fastfood Clerk: Number 27! Double steak combo with extra fries! Man: Right here! Clerk: Here you go sir, sorry about your weight. Man: Oh, it wasn't long at al- wait... Clerk: >:D"

"Why was the pianist arrested? He was assaulting A Minor."

"What idiot called it ""best man"" instead of ""lord of the rings"""

"I like my politicians like I like my coffee. I don't like coffee."

"How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? The question is irrelevant, because as soon as the first angel steps onto the head, the tip will rub against the ground, making it pointless."