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Joke of the Day

"How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? The question is irrelevant, because as soon as the first angel steps onto the head, the tip will rub against the ground, making it pointless."

"What's the worst question you can ask a blind date? ""So.. you seeing anyone?"""

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea."

"I need to stop asking strangers if they're ticklish, and just start tickling them."

"What did the body-building priest say after he was caught eating all the communion? I was putting on Mass."

"A big thank you to all local DJs who play marijuana themed music at 4:20. You're doing god's work."

"i don't need a ""previously on..."" ive been watching this show for 9 hours straight"

"Why was the rabbit hopping in circles? Because I shot its leg off."

"How to get the pussy: 1. go to the animal shelter 2. adopt a kitten 3. show your female friends 4. they fall in love with the kitten 5. they fall in love with you 6. slammed with pussy"

"I have PTSD from catching a glimpse of a co-worker's pale belly roll during a meeting."