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Joke of the Day

"I see dead people."

"I was always really bad with numbers But I think my 34 inch dick makes up for it."

"Whenever I wake up in a bad mood I always wear a shirt I don't like just in case I turn into The Hulk."

"A man went to a fish and chip lunch organised by the local monastery... He strolls up to one guy serving, and with a big grin, asks ""Are you the fish friar?"" The guy responds ""No, I'm the chip monk!"""

"I'm not sure if I'm depressed Or just nihilistic"

"What stresses fish out the most? Current events."

"Won't do that again Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call ""shotgun"" before boarding a plane."

"What do you call a female roach with a weiner? A transpestite."

"Sure I get excited when he unzips his pants. I'm pretending it's the sound of his body bag."

"What do gay cows eat? Haaaaayyyy(gay voice)"