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Joke of the Day

"Won't do that again Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call ""shotgun"" before boarding a plane."

"Remember when you were a kid and you used to blow bubbles? He said hi..."

"That Hamburger Helper hand guy. There's a twin out there, right? Didn't go into showbiz. Maybe an accountant or something."

"What's the difference between a lawyer and whore? The lawyer can't guarantee to get you off."

"If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic."

"I got arrested for following my dream. The owner of that Ferrari thought I was a hitman shading him."

"Kids here's a tip. Next Christmas leave Santa marijuana cookies and watch how happy your parents magically become the next morning"

"In Heaven all your lost pets are sitting around waiting to see you again. ""I wish he'd die,"" says Cupcake. They all nod."

"Why does Marx only drink herbal tea? Because property is theft."

"So this blonde walks in to a computer store... ... and says to the employee; have you got any curtains? Employee says; um no sorry this is a computer store Blonde; duhh, I have windows."