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Joke of the Day

"Whats pink and smells like salmon? trout"

"[after robots take over] *drones crash into my kitchen* ME: [mouthful of ham] whobithrayed me? *fridge starts laughing* BUT U WERE MY FABRIT"

"What has 200 legs 50 noses and is very loud? A herd of stampeding aardvarks!"

"if you are riding a jet ski in the desert and you pop a tire, how many pancakes does it take to bury the dog? purple, because the ice cream is boneless."

"Lionel Ritchie says 'Hello', by the way."

"How do you spot a blind guy at a nudist colony? It's not hard."

"What's with these people who take a sip of their coffee as soon as they get it? Who are these iron-mouthed warriors?"

"You tell me to get off my high horse? Why dont you tell the damn horse to stop getting high all the time.. His drug problem isn't my problem"

"Have a very Joseph Christmas! We shouldn't discriminate by sex, you know."

"They say that sex relieves stress. Not true. I had sex last week and the police have been after me ever since."