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Joke of the Day

"""I deleted that tweet because I've really grown as a writer in the past 7 minutes and it's just not up to my current standards"""

"""Snap! The Rice Krispie cereal mascot just isn't my type... ...his idea of a date is to just 'Crackle and Pop'"""

"I live in a pretty rough area. The priest at our church had to leave because of a child abuse scandal. He was raped by three kids."

"My idiot friend wanted to get into porn. He heard that the camera adds ten pounds."

"Dear fork, I just wanted to inform you that you have a son. His name is Spork. Love always, Spoon PS: he has your hair."

"[15 years ago] Mom: Use protection. I'm too young to be a nana [Now] M: I'll pay for the Russian mail order bride. I WANT GRANDCHILDREN!!"

"What do you call a poor Italian community? a spaghetto."

"I like my women like I like my tea Red Bush."

"What do you do if you see a space man? Park your car man."

"Anyone else notice how Barney the Dinosaur is basically a T-rex & parents had no qualms about leaving their children with an apex predator?"