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Joke of the Day

"I live in a pretty rough area. The priest at our church had to leave because of a child abuse scandal. He was raped by three kids."

"A man went to a meeting for premature ejaculators but when he arrived there was no one there, he'd come too early."

"Any day now Trump and Pence are going to pull off their masks and reveal that they're Kang and Kodos from The Simpsons"

"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas... ...is one of Donald Trumps more offensive slogans."

"What did one banana say to another banana? I find you a-peeling"

"I scream. You scream. We all scream. I'm not supposed to be at this slumber party."

"What do you call a gushing keyboard? sqwerty"

"Making cakes Mom: I need to go to the store to buy some molasses. Dad: Why don't you just dig under the front yard?"

"[date] Me: Are you a serial killer? You have to tell me if you are. Him: That's a cop. Me: Changing the subject, just like a serial killer"

"How do you know the guy sucking your dick is gay? He's holding it with his pinky in the air."