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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my tea Red Bush."

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"What's big and long that a Polish girl gets on her wedding night? A new last name"
"I went to the Zoo the other day, but all it had was one dog. It was a shitzu."
"America is converting to metric units... inch by inch."
"In current news: US: Stop that Middle East: Stop what? US: That Middle East: This? US: Yes that Middle East: This? America: OMG STAAAHP"
"Having a talk about drugs with my 11 yr old, and she said ""If I'm going to do anything, it will be hot boys."" I think I just had a stroke."
"Doctor: Describe your headache. Me: She's about 5'8"", blonde, and the mother of my children."
"So apparently the Phillies aren't serving beer this year... They lost the opener Stupid but its an Uncle joke so I had to"
"Hitler wasn't that bad of a guy I mean, he did kill Hitler."
"I just fake-went-to-the-bathroom to avoid someone. He followed me in. I don't think the pee noises I'm making with my mouth are working."