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Joke of the Day

"No one cared about Cap'n Crunch when he was a Lieut'n'nt Com'nd'r"

"Lucy fell in front of the train she screamed out for help ""HELP ME! I DONT WANT TO DIE THIS WAY!!"", so Luke came running over and cut her throat instead. Nice work Luke. You should be more like Luke."

"What's the same as an ocean rabbit? A C-hair!"

"After a dinner party ...while taking plates to the kitchen my guest asked if the dishwasher was dirty. I said no, I believe she showered before dinner."

"Christmas gift What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer."

"My Wife always asks why I make science jokes. Y*_o_* ?"

"Why I'd never get a sex change I wouldn't have the balls to do it"

"My previous relationship was like a presidential term. It aged me prematurely and my replacement was elected two months before I was officially out of office!"

"""Why are you studying your Easter candy?"" ""I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"""

"Sociology homework. I need to compile ten jokes. 5 from females, 5 from males. Could I please get jokes, as well as genders?"