67746

Joke of the Day

"What do you call the security guys at Samsung The guardians of the galaxy"

"If I had 5 dollars in one pocket and 5 dollars in the other what do I have? Someone else's pants on. My grandfathers favorite joke."

"If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear....... Do you think Greece would help?"

"""My mother made me a whore."" To which someone replied: ""If I supply the yarn will she make me one?"" -From *All That You Love Will Be Carried Away*"

"I wanted to date a girl once... but as a server admin I couldn't come out of my shell."

"Sure, Sally, I'll just buy one of your shells BY THE SEA SHORE. Oh, wait, here's one just laying here, you skank."

"How do you know you're getting aid's From the pounding sensation in your ass."

"Be yourself. Except you, cauliflower, you have to pretend to be other food."

"Mommy what's an ""Act of God?"" Me: *Flashback to my CrossFit trainer* Well dear, an ""active god"" is in his mid-20s and has a smokin hot body"

"I haven't been doing so well at the poop assembly line... My manager said if I don't pull my shit together soon I'll be fired."