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Joke of the Day
"Be yourself. Except you, cauliflower, you have to pretend to be other food."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding? They got jellygated!"
"In the street today, an unattractive woman asked for my number, so I gave her a fake. Still feel a bit guilty, as I'd just totaled her car."
"Why is a divorce so damn expensive? Because it fucking worth it!"
"How many libertarians? How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light-bulb? None. The market will take care of it."
"What was John Lennon's favorite fruit & place to eat it? A wee olive in a yellow submarine."
"I know all the subjects of Hillary Clinton's emails, ask me anything [Deleted]"
"Did you hear about the man who got a hatchet stuck in his teeth? It was accidental."
"Damn girl are you playboy magazine? Cause holy fuck you have a pile of issues"
"A man on crutches walks into his local Ice-Cream shop.. He asks the lady behind the desk for a Knickerbocker Glory. She says; ""Crushed nuts?"" He says; ""No, a sprained ankle"""