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Joke of the Day

"""My mother made me a whore."" To which someone replied: ""If I supply the yarn will she make me one?"" -From *All That You Love Will Be Carried Away*"

"You need subtitles. Me to every 2yr old."

"Parent/Child conversation tweets are always so cute & sweet! Thought I'd try one: 18: Can I borrow the car? Me: No Wasn't that adorable?!"

"When lesbians get married, which one makes the sandwiches? Neither! Everyone knows they prefer hot pockets"

"Knock, knock. Who's there? Disappointment."

"Why do black people eat tootsie rolls with a fork? So they don't bite their fingers"

"A logician's wife is having a baby... She gives birth and they hand the baby to him. ""Is it a boy or a girl?"" she asks. ""Yes"" he replies."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he neverlands. That joke never gets old..."

"Why do you want to be buried at sea? Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave."

"Why were Indians the first people in America? Because they had reservations."