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Joke of the Day

"How do you know you're getting aid's From the pounding sensation in your ass."

"I give movies with 2 stars a 5 on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well."

"Every time a famous music composer dies... ... he starts decomposing."

"I call bullshit on dogs being mans best friend. That little m'effer didn't lift a paw when I moved. Not him or all his little friends"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cole ! Cole who ? Cole as a cucumber !"

"Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen."

"A Jew walks into a bar mitzvah"

"If Dumbledore did a 'Cribs' episode for Hogwarts, he'd be like ""and this is where the magic happens"" in every room."

"Someone wake up that guy from Green Day."

"I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist."