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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to date a girl once... but as a server admin I couldn't come out of my shell."

"You have the body of a god... ...too bad its a Buddha"

"What's black, white and red, and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her head."

"Two mens are under a tent Two men are under a tent when one of them ask the second one: -Are you masturbating? -Yes why? -Then can you use your penis instead of mine?"

"give a man a shoe and he'll be confused as to what he needs one shoe for. teach a man to shoo and you won't have to deal with his confusion."

"What do ISIL and Little Miss Muffet have in common? Both have curds in their whey. -Credit goes to my professor"

"Cross-eyed people, just look down. We'll come get you if we need you."

"Ambien: Remember the time we picked a fight with Gary's garden gnome, chugged a jar of mayonnaise & passed out naked in Arby's parking lot?"

"UR MOMA IS SO HAIRY THAT HARRY POTTER GOT JEALOUS."

"Your voicemail will be ignored in the order in which it was received. Beep."