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Joke of the Day

"Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions"

"The Wikipedia entry for 'Toe Injury' is a stub."

"I went to a feminist convention. Everything was good, except for one thing. Nobody made sandwiches."

"I had to nickname my dick... (NSFW) SunnyD, because kids love it!"

"I want to live in one of those countries where the lawmakers get into fistfights"

"Hiroshima was making rice krispies long before Kellogs. I'm going to hell for this."

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide"

"A guy came to me at the bar the other day and said ""Hey bartender, I don't have much money so give me a cheap shot!"" . . I told him ""your mom is ugly and your breathe stinks"""

"Did you hear about the 50yo who couldn't deliver a baby? She was having a midwife crisis."

"Me: Which cup do you want? 2-year-old: That one! Me: Let's pick a different one. 2-year-old: No! *drinks milk from a shot glass*"