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Joke of the Day
"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide"
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"What Do You Call Adrian Peterson Playing Baseball? A switch hitter."
"what do anal sex and vegetables have in common? you enjoy both more as an adult if they arent forced on you as a child."
"How did the high speed car chase end? Caught eem! Hahaaa caught eem."
"Accidentally drew my eyebrows on too dark and thick and now I live on Sesame Street with Ernie."
"How did you get those horrible burns? *flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire."
"Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn't make a funny, cat-shaped hole. Not even close."
"(First date) Me: Don't let her know you're a satanist Her: So what do you do for fun? Me: WHATEVER THE DARK LORD COMMANDS"
"If people on Twitter found a horses' head in their bed at least 3/4 of them would get a selfie with it before calling the cops....."
"Parts of a worm: 1) Worm"