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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the 50yo who couldn't deliver a baby? She was having a midwife crisis."

"Most people have 32 teeth, some have 10. It's simple meth."

"iPhone 8 Screen [REMOVED]"

"I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one."

"I was reading a newspaper, and the headline said,""America is without a leader!"" I said,""That's unpresidented!"""

"What does a strong shoulder do when it doesn't know how to get any stronger? Shrugs."

"[terrible nursing home] Old guy: How did you end up here? Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster."

"Friend: Who's that? Me: Oh...that's crazy Kathy. F: Why do you call her that? Is she funny or something? Me: No. She eats hair."

"The time for being a smartass isn't when someone is in a murderous rage. There's a discreet unmarked grave out there that'll attest to that."

"I'm writing a book about common Mexican names... I'm gonna call it ""50 Shades of Jose"""