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Joke of the Day
"What is the difference between Emo teenagers and your lawn? Your lawn won't cut itself."
Next Joke
"I got pulled over for speeding So, I really don't have the patience to type this long ass joke on my phone, but my wife's a whore."
"Sex is like a cookie It's usually good, but most people like it better raw"
"You are all invited to my murder shed, I mean my shed"
"Do arcades ever clean the joysticks? 'Cause I've sucked on a few and they tasted awful."
"WIFE: Will he ever wake up? DOCTOR: Only a shocking truth will do it W: i sold his pet hamster ME *eyes fly open* WHERE HAS THEODORE GONE"
"How is the NFL like Brokeback Mountain? The Cowboys suck!"
"Date: So what do you do for fun? Me: [Flashes back to me tightly strapping a Rolex around a quail] I love bird watching."
"[Bee diary] Day one: met a really cute queen bee Day two: queen bee is now my gf Day three: my gf cheated on me with my 40,000 roommates"
"Sometimes when I say ""I'm OK"", what I really want is for someone to give me a hug, say ""You're not OK"" and hand me $10,000."