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Joke of the Day

"Date: So what do you do for fun? Me: [Flashes back to me tightly strapping a Rolex around a quail] I love bird watching."

"While people argue about the glass being half empty or half full...I'll just be drinking from the bottle !"

"Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet? A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once."

"An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion."

"What do you call a religious duck? A Quacker"

"Did the math. Facebook is worth $100 billion and with 800 million users that puts the value of a life at $12.50. Never pay a hitman more."

"I like my beer like I like me sex slaves..... Imported"

"[Cringe Alert] Why are Trees never invited to a formal dinner ? They only wear Trunks."

"Did you hear about the statistician's party? The dress code was causal."

"Just watched the documentary FOOD, INC. And I'm absolutely disgusted. From now on, I'm only having sex with organic chickens."