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Joke of the Day

"How is the NFL like Brokeback Mountain? The Cowboys suck!"

"""I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS!!!"" (Seductively takes baby dragon out of Gucci purse & lights cigarette.)"

"How many pot heads does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, we're stoned not stupid."

"[speaking at funeral] Deceased's brother: there's no words to describe the anguish we all feel right now Me: what about 'anguish'?"

"Misplaced apostrophes are just as annoying as the question mark I've used here?"

"I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday Not only is it terrible, it's terrible."

"What do you call two Egyptians who've farted at the same time? Tutankhamun."

"Hope you guys like clean humor videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNt-aTq0hxM"

"My signature move is getting drunk before anyone can ask me to be the designated driver."

"Look girl, all I'm saying is , if I have to choose between you and chocolate milk Be prepared to cry"