67567

Joke of the Day

"My parents are middle aged. ""Mine are to-"" [parents burst through bedroom door on horses] ""CHILD! DOST THOU DESIRE NOURISHMENT?"""

"Apostrophes are important. ""I fed the dog"" ""I f'ed the dog"" Learn this simple rule. Your friendship with Sarah McLachlan depends on it."

"What does your momma and a hockey player have in common? They both change their pads after three periods."

"A black guy, an illegal alien, a Muslim, and a communist walk into a bar... The bartender asks, ""What can I get you Mr. President?"" ;-P"

"What kind of bear is best? One that gets you an oscar"

"This weekend is daylight savings time, which means the clock on my microwave will be right again."

"The Irish Alligator His name was Croc O'Dile."

"I gave a homeless guy some cheese today. I feel gouda 'bout it."

"The grass isn't always greener on the other side. It's greener where you water it."

"My wife has a book on homeopathy I've only read the blurb on the back, but I think I know everything I need to know about it."