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Joke of the Day

"What does your momma and a hockey player have in common? They both change their pads after three periods."

"Member when ""Member Berries"" wasn't the main remember meme? Pepperidge farm remembers."

"What do you call a midget with Down Syndrome? you call him a little slow"

"Go to an open house and ask the realtor if they'll stand in the basement with the door closed so you can hear if screams are audible outside"

"For every upvote this gets, my girlfriend and I will try one thrust of anal sex. Please don't upvote. Her strap-on is huge."

"What's got four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of tree it could kill you? A pool table."

"People keep telling me that they are annoyed by all my Linkin Park references... but in the end, it doesn't even matter..."

"Yo mama so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide."

"Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them because I know life is really, really tough for the visually impaired. :("

"You have to give it to pedophiles They're the only ones who follow the speed limit in school zones"