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Joke of the Day

"I've just heard that Harrison Ford crashed his plane onto a golf course Apparently he was just dropping in for a Short Round"

"Why did the blonde have a sore belly-button? Because she had a blond boyfriend."

"BUSINESS IDEA: CinnaBon-Iver. Delicious pastries filled with scarf scraps and broken pieces of wind chimes."

"[Trying to impress a girl on a date] Me: ""Not to brag but I'm getting Windows 10 for free."""

"Why name hurricanes lame names, like Sandy? Name that shit Hurricane Death Megatron 300 and I guarantee niggas be evacuating like they need to."

"Someone should create a Trump parody Twitter account... That only retweets all the stuff he actually posts"

"I tried eating a clock earlier.. It was really time consuming"

"Look on the bright side, your insomnia keeps most of the spiders out of your mouth."

"Why is the leaning tower of Pisa in Italy? It's Italicized"

"Parkinson's Disease was named after its discoverer, Dr. Timothy Disease."