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Joke of the Day
"I just licked guacamole off my elbow. Yup."
Next Joke
"Q: Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore? A: Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)"
"(NSFW) Why did the condom fly across the room? It was pissed off."
"My 8 yr old just asked me how the first microchip was built at the exact time I was wondering what other animals got sweaty armpits."
"What did Edward Snowden say when he bumped into Barack Obama? Pardon me"
"I met a deaf gynecologist today.. Apparently, he reads lips. (Obligatory: posted this in /r/dadjokes, thought this sub might like it as well.)"
"American Top Gear"
"""look, you know i LOVE calling birds. love. but FOUR? jesus, phil, i don't have room for this shit and you knew that!"""
"What's your spirit animal? ""An eagle. They're so majestic."" MEANWHILE Horse: hey eagle, what's your spirit human Eagle: this guy Dave"
"Can a ninja kill someone from a distance? Shuriken!"