66812

Joke of the Day

"I heard from a terrorist that they are planning a nine-eleven attack times a thousand... That's right it's gonna be 911,000"

"My company's health plan is a guy who comes to your house when you're sick and yells, ""DON'T YOU QUIT ON ME!"""

"Q: What kind of wood doesn't float? A: Natalie Wood"

"Tampax has announced that they will be taking the string off tampons and replacing it with tinsel. This is for the Christmas period only."

"My wife hit me in the face with a frying pan and yelled, ""That's for all the cheating!"" She has a weird way of apologising."

"why did god create the yeast infection so women could see what it's like to live with a miserable cunt"

"Risky behavior in my 20s involved sex drugs & alcohol. At 30, ""risky"" is eating spicy food after 9pm and not lifting w/ my knees."

"*ex GF pulls up to drive thru where I work* ""Big mac please"" ""Would u like LIES with that?!"" *my boss dragging me away* ""LIES, LUCY.. LIES!"""

"I asked a coworker if she liked Mila Kunis. She said yes and all the better if I call her a whore afterwards. Then I saw her hearing aid."

"My wife has the body of a 16 year old schoolgirl... She keeps it in the fridge."