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Joke of the Day

"Risky behavior in my 20s involved sex drugs & alcohol. At 30, ""risky"" is eating spicy food after 9pm and not lifting w/ my knees."

"Word of the day: exhaustipated. Too tired to give a shit."

"Woke up with no money. I was robbed last night by a guy who looks exactly like me, but drunker."

"Dear karma: perhaps we could be partners? You're doing great work, but I've identified a bunch of people you've overlooked."

"Which is Better, a Cat or a Dog House? A dog house, because a cat house has no woof!"

"Santa's sack is huge, because... he only comes once a year!"

"What's the difference between a business meeting and a battle ground? #Deadpeople"

"Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity?"

"A Haiku A problem that I Have with haikus is that I Always run out of"

"What do you call a group of Vigilante Aussie Nuns? Birds of Pray"