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Joke of the Day

"why did god create the yeast infection so women could see what it's like to live with a miserable cunt"

"just told my kid ""you're not going to die if you try a piece of lamb"" and she said ""yeah, i'm going to die anyway"""

"When the inventor of the USB stick dies they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again."

"*A burlap bag is pulled off your head, a bright spotlight is causing you to blink* WHERE DOES THE ARCHIVED MICROSOFT OUTLOOK EMAIL GO."

"What do you call a bus on its way to Comic Con? Virgin Mobile"

"What's an Impressionist's favorite condiment? Manet's."

"I've always wondered why china have such a high population. Today I found out, their Condoms are made in China!"

"When Moses came down with the Commandments, It was the greatest Retweet in History."

"I bet the murder rate is so low in Canada because you have to go 300 miles to find someone to kill."

"I was accused of illegally downloading the entirety of Wikipedia I told them I could explain everything"