107015

Joke of the Day

"I asked a coworker if she liked Mila Kunis. She said yes and all the better if I call her a whore afterwards. Then I saw her hearing aid."

"Why do hippies like corduroy? Because the material is so groovy."

"My girlfriend and I went to the bank and opened a shared savings account, mostly for buying weed. ... ... It will be our joint account."

"I slept with a supermodel last night Alternative facts."

"Love is that really warm feeling that starts from the tips of your fingers and goes towards the bottom of your hand. Oh no wait that's glove"

"Leprecauns and gay guys must end up at the same places a lot."

"I thought I was schizophrenic... But I talked myself out of it."

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 11 seconds."

"Chewbacca has started a website that gives out all of the Empire's secrets... Wookieeleaks"

"Hate it when people ask me what I will be doing five years from now Come on guys, I don't have 2020 vision"