66736

Joke of the Day

"Threw some protein bars in the trash & now the raccoons are bench pressing my neighbors Great Dane in the backyard."

"I was thinking of making sperm-brand merchandise... ...because sex cells"

"What do you call a guy who wants to join the mile high club by himself? A high-jacker."

"How does a seamstress reply to someone asking her how her day was? So,so....."

"Q: What kind of floor do dinosaurs' bathrooms have? A: Rep-tiles."

"We could save a lot of hassle if we just made macaroni out of cheese in the first place."

"What do you give to an owl who is not being himself? A Bowl (B-Owl)"

"What do you call a Canadian Muslim? A Mooselim!!"

"TIL 5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions."

"What did Lincoln say on the last night of his life? ""Aw shit Mary, I need to go see a play tonight like I need a hole in the head..."""