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Joke of the Day
"Q: What kind of floor do dinosaurs' bathrooms have? A: Rep-tiles."
Next Joke
"[anniversary dinner] HER: tell me something that will make my heart race ME: my credit card got declined"
"How to get a girl to like you: 1. Become a lion tamer 2. Release a lion on her 3. Tame it right before it kills her 4. Take her to Chili's?"
"Given the number of tampon's wrappers in our trash either my wife is searching for the 1 with a Golden Ticket or shit just got real."
"Alcohol is like liquid Photoshop for real life."
"What's Hitler's favorite video game. Meinkraft"
"[Nerd Joke] Yo momma's so fat she sees red lights as green... ...Doctors call this colour blindness, physicists call it gravitational blue-shift."
"Who makes more money - a drug dealer or a prostitute? The prostitute- she can wash her crack and resell it."
"""The sum of the cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrot divided by the mayo. That is Cole's Law."""
"""Why won't you loan a neighbor a cup of sugar?"" [ sigh ] ""You're a pile of ants wearing a bathrobe."" [ bathrobe sags dejectedly ]"