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Joke of the Day

"So Nickelback walks into a bar... [xpost from r/funny] There's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny."

"I wish I hadn't wasted so much of my life creating wacky sci-fi inventions... The time machine alone set me back 15 years."

"What's Whitney Houstons favourite kind of co-ordination? Haaand eeeeeeyeeee"

"Me: How are you feeling Grandpa? Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly."

"I thought by this point in my life I would know what to do with my arms when I sleep, but nope, still confused."

"What does a house wear? Address!"

"A good day for a bad boy is talking a good girl into a bad decision."

"What's a racist bakers favourite ingredient? WHITE FLOUR!"

"Scientists recently developed a weapon that directly targets the Higgs Boson It's classified as a weapon of mass destruction."

"Hey Russell Wilson! You wanna win another Super Bowl?! Nah, I'll pass."