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Joke of the Day

"I thought by this point in my life I would know what to do with my arms when I sleep, but nope, still confused."

"A cop pulls over Heisenburg, and says... Do you know you were going 100 miles per hour? Heisenburg then replied, exasperatedly, ""Dammit, now I'm lost!"""

"How do you make a salad wrap? By adding some beets"

"What does a fisherman say when he catches a fish? His catch-phrase. Short n' Sweet, hope you like it!"

"If one more teenager uses the term 'Back in the day'...I swear I'm gonna smack them with a floppy disk and choke them with my legwarmers."

"What do gay horses eat? HAYYYYYYYYYYY!!"

"How to make an idiot curious? I'll post the answer tomorrow."

"How do you make a Chevy Malibu float? Pour a glass of soda and add two scoops of Chevy Malibu"

"Why don't violists get stressed? Because they have nothing to fret about!"

"i failed a piss test at work you guys. Yeah, I made a poop instead! Hahahaha"