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Joke of the Day

"A good day for a bad boy is talking a good girl into a bad decision."

"Pharmacist: need any help? Me: Yes, I'd like whatever Oprah was on when she gave each and every audience member a car"

"*Dentistry school* Here's your final: *stabs student* Why is he bleeding ""Because you stabbed him?"" FAIL ""Because he doesn't floss"" CORRECT!"

"Today, a man looked me right in the face & said ""You're not hot!"" Actually it was a cop &he said ""Here's your ticket. Have a nice evening."""

"Am thinking of watching ""Les Miserables"". Am dying to find out why this dude Les is so sad. If I could just meet this Les guy and cheer him up, he'd be... (wait for it)... less miserable. :P"

"Rattlesnakes and Condoms ...two things I don't fuck with."

"Tomato/tomahato, potato/potahto, pedestrian/victim. Who cares."

"I like my women like I like my Building 7. Going down for no reason. That's a conspiracy reference that 9 out of 11 people don't get. It's an inside joke."

"Texas... It's not the heat, it's the stupidity."

"If I ever become rich, you know where all my money is going? To the bank"