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Joke of the Day

"I made a joke at the US-Mexico border jajajajajajahahahaha"

"What do you call a kid who falls into a gorilla enclosure? Zoolander"

"What do you call a gathering of otolaryngologists? An ENTmoot."

"What do you call a water gun that gets people really excited? A super stoaker"

"Why do people buy fruit already cut up? There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting."

"Frankly, I adore your mom. She said I'm the funniest motherfucker that's ever been up in this bitch! And she wasn't talking about Twitter."

"ME: Michaelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back? GF: Yep M: [2 hours later] How did he reach the bit between his shoulders?"

"Ma'am...we're going to have to ask you to get off of the table. Ma'am... (me, trying to cuddle with my bacon cheese fries)"

"A couple were french kissing, then the guy looks at the girl and says "" I think I swallowed your gum"" Nah, says the girl, I just have a cold."

"I wonder if dog's had facebook, would they put our picture as their profile picture."