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Joke of the Day

"Why do people buy fruit already cut up? There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting."

"In an unexpected motion, Texas Republicans have voted to move midnight to 1am."

"*gets in the bus* *Brings out earphones* *untangles* *arrives*"

"Today Grindr went down on thousands of people... Fortunately, there was no interruption in service."

"The ONLY reason I haven't unfriended you yet is because you have huge boobs and I have a feeling that I would miss seeing them."

"Nice guys finish last, cause stamina."

"What do you call an abortion in Prague? A cancelled Czech."

"You know how to do gypsy triathlon? You walk to the pool, don't swim, and then ride home on a brand new bike."

"I was in a bank yesterday and all the money just floated out the door by itself. It was a polterheist."

"A mother walks in on her son playing with his privates... ""You really like those new toy soldiers, don't you?"""