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Joke of the Day

"George Michael is recording a song with all the proceeds going to end sectarian violence in the Middle East. It's call ""I Want Your Sects""."

"Something came in the mail today.... DEEZ NUTZ!!!! HA!!!! GOT HEM!!! GOT HEM!!!"

"I'm basically Switzerland. I'm cold and you have to get really high in order to truly appreciate my beauty."

"Virginity is curable."

"Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two mars bars fall out of a vending machine at once."

"Why does Yoda have the best seat on the Jedi Council? He gets a seat next to a Windu."

"Some dude at ASU named Dean has me on his list. Honestly, I don't appreciate or understand it. Thinking about contacting the authorities."

"I like my women like my coffee. Ground up in a bag."

"What's the most overused punchline on reddit? [removed]"

"Doctor doctor should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach? No you should do it on a computer."