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Joke of the Day

"While we frantically work to solve the budget crisis, a much bigger threat looms. Cats are running out of funny photo poses."

"What do you call a nut that can't talk? Nutin special. Credit to my 8 year old daughter who made that one up."

"The hardest part about having an ugly child is lying to them when they ask you if you love them."

"2 Hebrews a black dude and a Mexican walk into a bar. Bar tender says get f#%k outa here."

"I don't think it's rude to ask someone in an online dating site to send a picture posing with a copy of today's newspaper."

"Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better."

"I'm an over medium comedian I don't always make yolks, but when I do, they are runny"

"I've never been in love but I imagine its similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food."

"I hope my neighbors follow me on Twitter cause their car's lights are on."

"Just tried to read an article that wasn't a list. Bunch of words, no GIFs, and it required me to think?? 0/10 would not recommend."