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Joke of the Day

"I've never been in love but I imagine its similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food."

"Why did the rich guy crash his car? He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends"

"Canadians spend about $3.5 billion annually in Florida Plus the $5 tip."

"A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says... ""What's with the steering wheel on the front of your pants?"" The pirate says, ""Argh!! I don't know but it's driving me testicles!!!"""

"Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"I came up with this at 3 am, For short joke lovers. Penis, meet hand Hand, meet penis. Now shake hands."

"saying monkeys r ur favorite animal is basically saying u like a shorter, hairier version of urself who can only communicate by screaming"

"Fat Lady vs Old Maid What is the difference? One is trying to diet, the other is dying to try it!"

"my floor was 5 years old, so i contacted someone to replace the old wood... I'm still waiting for a reply"

"How do you know Kurt Cobain didn't have dandruff? A bit of his head and shoulders were found behind the couch."