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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid, ppl would cover me in sauce, throw nuts, cherries & sprinkle hundreds & thousands over me.. Life was tough in the gateau."

"Q: What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes? A: None as usual... and they most likely didn't understand them either."

"Why was Jesus crucified instead of stoned? So Catholics could do this [makes the sign of the cross], instead of this [bangs self in head with fists]."

"Q: Why did the belt get locked up? A: He held up a pair of pants."

"Guy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs. Guy: Do they swell? Girl: No. They spread"

"How many Mexicans do you need working in the kitchen? Just Juan."

"[flirting w/girl at bar] And that's why [takes sip from elephant sippy cup] I always use a sippy cup [lid falls off and spills juice on me]"

"The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don't want anymore children living on our street."

"What's that coffee drink with icecream? I used to know it, but... Affogato."

"I wish Adele would hurry up and put out another album so I could end this relationship."