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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid, ppl would cover me in sauce, throw nuts, cherries & sprinkle hundreds & thousands over me.. Life was tough in the gateau."

"Why dogs are called K9? Because cats are K10"

"Need relationship advice! I'm trying to get my wife into role playing but she gets really upset when I suggest she be played by Emma Stone."

"5 years ago, I asked this beautiful woman if she would go to dinner with me. Last spring, I asked her to be my wife. Both times she said no."

"I think the hardest part about being a cashier is telling the girl buying 3 pregnancy tests to ""Have a nice day"""

"What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost? Spook when you're spooken to."

"What's the hottest hotel in Vegas? The Cosmopolitan"

"I bought some pot from a T-Rex ... ... he was a small arms dealer."

"What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything."

"How is an elephant like a wristwatch? They both come in quartz."