211066

Joke of the Day

"Why dogs are called K9? Because cats are K10"

"Sometimes instead of saying ""For Example"", I'll say something such as ""such as"", for example."

"You can now experience skydiving without a parachute! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity!"

"A feminist's view point. Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Feminist: The glass is being raped."

"HIM: Hi, I'm Bill. ME: Hi, I'm...oh shit this is embarrassing. I'm not really good with names."

"I used to be afraid of gardening... ...but then I decided to grow a pear."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died. How long it took for you to figure it out?"

"Always ask ""are you voting for Sanders?"" before sex. If they say ""yes"" you know they are too young."

"On Thursday, the captain of the crashed cruise ship Costa Concordia went back to the wreck for the first time since the accident. Said the captain, ""It looks so different sober."""

"""I'm a good person, obviously."" --everyone"