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Joke of the Day

"What's the hottest hotel in Vegas? The Cosmopolitan"

"Sometimes I type a 'C' when I meant to type an 'A'. And now I have to apologize to my 'Aunt'"

"I like my puns like I like my sausages... the wurst ones are the best."

"What is Hillary Clinton's favorite sport? NASCAR, because it's always heading to the left."

"Me: hope ur soccer team wins the great fork American: What Me: the good plate American: the super bowl Me: i knew it was a kitchen something"

"Someone keeps throwing cheese at me Yeah, real mature."

"I had sex with a woman on top of a keyboard I made her qwert"

"I have controversial opinions and I don't give a shit what anyone thinks! (Refreshes eight times to see faves and retweets)"

"I've had my phone battery die at a family function. Nothing scares me now."

"I know Greenwich has a mean time, But do they have a happy hour?"