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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy that was half Black and half Japanese ... ... every December 7th he would attack Pearl Bailey."

"Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I'm pretty sure she'll figure out that I'm just after my money."

"What's the difference between Bill Cosby and Lena Dunham? Lena Dunham wrote the book about it."

"What is Michael Jackson's favorite piano chord? A-minor"

"What do ford trucks and tampons have in common? Eventually every pussy gets one."

"Wife*outside bathroom door*:""I can hear ur keyboard clicking away. U tweeting in there?"" Me*pauses knitting*:""Uh, Ya"""

"My surname: 'Ever.' My given forename: 'Superior'. Similar to a torn talofibular ligament, I am not one to be trifled with."

"Take your time, Officer. I have nothing but respect for the law. Your imminent death on this dark side street can wait."

"Why Did The Stadium Get Hot After The Game? Because all the fans left."

"What did the black man say to the Mexican? Hey. Watermelawn."