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Joke of the Day

"Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I'm pretty sure she'll figure out that I'm just after my money."

"If ever you're feeling down, and I can't be there to do it in person, just imagine me awkwardly patting your shoulder & looking at my watch."

"I'm ""the cord popped out of the phone cause I tried to stretch it from the kitchen to my room"" years old"

"Fun fact: Snakes don't exist. They were made up by scientists in 1923 as a joke that went too far so they just kinda rolled with it"

"Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one."

"I love when a girl posts a selfie with ""no filter"" but the shit is so blown out you can't even see her nose."

"I told my wife that size shouldn't matter so she went out shopping and bought my ""boys room"" a new 4 inch TV."

"video games hav a negative effect on children they teach them to learn and adapt to any world they find themselves in adn overcome obstacles"

"How did Charlie Sheen get HIV? By injecting tiger blood"

"Why did the pillow cross the road? Because it was cooler on the other side."